If catnip were to be eaten
by KatKit441
Summary: * note- this takes place shortly after Bramblestar's storm* out of boredom, Firestar made it rain catnip, but was that such a good idea? now the warriors, kits, apprentices, and even Leaders and Deputies are going crazy and Squirrelflight can't stop braking the fourth wall! plus Brightheart has waaaaay too many kits! rated T just in case
1. If catnip were to be eaten

WARNING do not read this if you can not handle high levels of randomness

note- this takes place shortly after Bramblestar's Storm

Chapter 1- the catnip

 _-Starclan-_

"why do the clans have to be so boring?" asked yellowfang

"maybe because I'm DEAD" said Firestar

"not that" said yellowfang

"but I can fix their boringness" whined Firestar

"how?" asked yellowfang

"CATNIP" Firestar yelled with joy. Then it started raining. Raining catnip.

 _-Thunderclan-_

"ummmm Bramblestar" said Squirrelflight

"yes?" asked Bramblestar

"I think you should look at this"

Bramblestar stared up at the sky and his mouth was wide open

"it's a purple cloud, with catnip raining out of it… wait…. CATNIP?!" Bramblestar exclaimed. Then a piece of catnip fell into his mouth.

"Who wants some cookies?" he asked

"whats a cook-mfmumaha!" Squirrelflight asked as Bramblestar shoved catnip into her mouth, thinking catnip was cookies.

"Muffins?" she dazedly asked, because the catnip made her go crazy

before the end of the day, all of the clans were crazy because of the catnip.

 _the next day_

"guys!" yelled squirrelflight

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"two things!" exclaimed Squirrelflight

"one, I am now Sassypants" said Squirrelflight

"no. I am Sassypants" said Sassypants (breaking the fourth wall)

"good" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"two I got an IPHONE, now i can take SELFIES" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

 _Chapter 2-Selfies and Soda (S &S)_

"I was Bramblestar, now i am Mr. Taco" said Mr. Taco

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"Lionblaze" said

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"You are now Poopbut" said

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"hey, good news" said Dovewing

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"I have three new kits!" exclaimed Brightheart

"I was gonna say Im gonna take a patrol to go get soda, becuz Im rich!" said Dovewing

"and Im now sodadove" said sodadove

*DING*

"oops, text from Sassypants" said sodadove

-meh Pants r so Sasy- wanna go get sum soda?

-Soda is dah duvz- O YA!

-meh pants r so Sasy- im ther

-Poopbut- poopbut?

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"how do you have a phone, Poopbut?" asked sodadove

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

*DING*

"another text" said sodadove

-da Taco Man- after da beer, do u wana get sum tacos?

-Soda is dah duvz- ya

-meh pants r so Sasy- ya

"LEMME TAKE A SELFIE" yelled Sassypants

"I HAVE TOO MANY KITS" yelled Brightheart

"i was Brightheart, but i have too many kits, so now im now Kitmaker" said Kitmaker

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"hey, Sassypants" said Sodadove

"yeah, sodadove?" asked Sassypants

"you like selfies, right?" asked Sodadove

"yes" said Sassypants

"lets be the S&S inc. (Selfies and Soda Incorperation)" said Sodadove

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"no." said both Sassypants and Sodadove at the same time

 _Chapter 3- Kitmaker's kits_

"IVE GOT 20 NEW KITS!" yelled Kitmaker

"you are Brightheart jr."

"you are jr. Brightheart"

"you are jr. Brightheart jr."

"you are Brightheart jr. jr."

 _and Kitmaker kept naming her kits one by one_

"you are Buttkit"

"you are Fishkit"

"you are ButtFishkit"

"you are Facekit"

"you are ButtFacekit"

"Buttkit?" asked Facekit

"yes Facekit?" asked Buttkit

"lets declare war on ButtFacekit" said Facekit

"ok, Facekit" said Buttkit

"lucky for us, I have a bunch of swords!" said Buttkit

"YAAAAAY" said Facekit

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"unlucky for you, I have waffles" ButtFacekit said evily

"NOOOOOO" said Facekit

"but we have swords" said Buttkit

"ButtFishkit is an evil genius, and he agreed to help me defeat you!" said ButtFacekit

"NOOOOOO" said Buttkit

"I'll help you, Buttkit and Facekit" said Fishkit

"YAAAAY" said both Buttkit and Facekit at the same time

"on one condition" said Fishkit

"what's that?" asked Facekit

"I'm our team leader"

"ok" said Facekit

"Im a demolitions expert" said Buttkit

"YAAAAY" said both Fishkit and Facekit at the same time

 _later, in the 'pie wars' as the kits called it_

"they're very powerful" said Facekit on a walk-e talk-e

"Fishkit was wondering if you needed any grenades" said Buttkit on a walk-e talk-e

"grenades… GRENADES…. WHY WOULD WE NEED GRENADES?!" yelled Facekit

"yes, well…. he might have said help" said Buttkit

"oh, yes i neeed help" said Facekit

"he's on his way" said Buttkit, just then, Fishkit appeared in front of Facekit

"how did you get here so fast?" asked Facekit

"teleport" said Fishkit

"TELEPORT!?" screamed Facekit

"ButtFishkit is a geinius of weaponry, im a genius of other things, like teleports" said Fishkit

"OK" said Facekit slowly, just then grenades were appearing right over ButtFacekit and ButtFishkit as Facekit and Fishkit were teleporting back to their secret base underneath the nursery

"you teleported grenades right over ButtFacekit and ButtFishkit" said Fishkit

"yes" said Buttkit

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

 _chapter 4- tacos and deputy problems_

 _-_ _Starclan-_

"I shall make it rain tacos" said Yellowfang

"YAAAAY" said Firestar

 _-Thunderclan-_

"ITS RAININ' TACOS, ITS RAININ' TACOS, ALL ALONG THE STREETS!" said Mr. Taco

"IM DEPUTY! YAAAAAAY! NONE OF THE WARRIORS FANS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BRAMBLESTAR, BECUZ I LUVED HIM THEN I HATED HIM AND NOW I LUV HIM AGAIN!" yelled SassyPants (breaking the fourth wall again)

"who's bramblestar?" asked Mr. Taco

"idk" said Sassypants

"I hear Sassypants is your deputy" said a mysterious cat

"Yes, but Y DONT I KNOW U? I KNOW EVERYONE!" asked Mr. Taco

"I am DATFACEDOE and I am here to take over deputy from Sassypants" said DatFaceDoe

"you are now my deputy, and you shall always be my deputy" said Mr. Taco

"WHAT?!" screamed Sassypants

"HE'S MY DEPUTY!" yelled Mr. Taco

"O" said Sassypants

Mr. Taco ate a taco

"IM A CANNIBAL!" yelled Mr. Taco.

"good to know" said Sodadove

 _chapter 5- lightning and things_

 _-2 months after the taco rain-_

"I have a good feeling about this" said Mr. Taco

"but it's a storm" said Sassypants

"it could finally rain tacos again" said Mr. Taco

"yeah, what he said" said Sodadove

"oh… that makes sense" said Sassypants

 _later_

"why is there flashy stuff in the flying grey cotton candy?" asked Mr. Taco

"why is there flying grey cotton candy?" asked Sassypants

"DO NOT QUESTION THE TACO GODS" yelled Mr. Taco

"it's flying grey cotton candy, the taco gods have nothing to do with it" said Sassypants

"oh….. DO NOT QUESTION THE COTTON CANDY GODS!" yelled Mr. Taco

"ok" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"guys, Starclan is sending us a lightning storm" said Sodadove

"wait...uh-oh" said Mr. Taco

"and I'm Dovewing" said Dovewing

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled everyone in the clan

"why is Thunderclan acting so weird?" asked Dovewing

"WE'RE POTATOECLAN" yelled Mr. Taco

"umm…." said Dovewing

Mr. Taco shoved some catnip into her mouth

"sorry, I think I accidentally ate something weird" said Sodadove

"guys, i think the flashy stuff is angry at us" said Sassypants, just then a flash of lightning hit Mr. Taco

"asdkerf" said Mr. Taco

"umm…" said Sassypants

"cakle dom-dom" said Mr. Taco

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"fogtrex fom tee" said Mr. Taco

"pom torf dex" said Poopbut

"ek-ek fom tee sor mopten" said Sodadove

"what… is…. happening?" asked Sassypants

"oh, I speak lightning-struck Mr. Taco" said Sodadove

"and apparently so does Poopbut" said Sodadove

"yex temb" said Mr. Taco

"ef kay" said Poopbut

"yong borp" said Sodadove

"sdusn fulg" said Poopbut

"yeng" said Mr. Taco

"khel baunk" said Poopbut

"YENG" screamed Mr. Taco

"he said it's wearing off" said Sodadove

"yes, yes i did" said Mr. Taco

"Im gonna walk by your taco, and steal all of it's marinara sauce" said Sassypants

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Mr. Taco, then he fainted


	2. the Pie Wars begin

_-If catnip were to be eaten: pie wars-_

 _Pie wars, chapter 1- grenades=OP_

 _*buttkit and fishkit are texting each other*_

Fishkit: this is Sg. Fishkit reporting, Buttkit are you there?

Buttkit: yes, I have grenades if you need any

Fishkit: I have no need of grenades right now

Buttkit: ok

Facekit: i just escaped their base using grenades

Buttkit: see, grenades=OP

Fishkit: ok, i will need some grenades

Buttkit: teleporting some your way

Fishkit: kk

Facekit: kk

"jr. Brightheart jr. reporting for duty!" yelled jr. brightheart jr.

"mission: use grenades to destroy the enemy base" said Fishkit

"I have laser guns to help out" said Facekit

"if things get too risky, I have just created a new explosive, c5!" Buttkit said exitedly

"wait, can't we use d4?" asked Fishkit

"it hasn't been tested yet" answered Buttkit

"wait… C5 has been tested?" asked Fishkit

"yes, of course, why else would there be an explosion room in our base?" said Buttkit

"right, didn't think about that, but let's still use D4" said Fishkit

"ok" said Buttkit


	3. Pie Wars Part 1

_Pie Wars Chapter 2- ButtFishkit's evil plan_

"mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I will destroy them by using my secret weapon, the ButtFish-ifier-inator-erator!" said ButtFishkit

"umm… that's undermining the term 'evil genius'" said ButtFacekit

"how?" asked ButtFishkit

"ifier-inator-erator" said ButtFacekit

"whatever" said ButtFishkit

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"GET HIM OUT OF HERE" screamed ButtFishkit

"ok" said ButtFacekit

*BEZABOOP*

"huh?" asked ButtFishkit

"we're here!" exclaimed Fishkit

"activating laser gun" said Facekit

"teleporting grenades" said Buttkit

"NOW!" screamed ButtFishkit

"powering up ButtFish-ifier-inator-erator" said ButtFacekit

"it has to be POWERED UP?!" screeched ButtFishkit

"yes, you should know that" said Buttkit

"undermining the term 'evil genius' again" muttered ButtFacekit

"GRENADES! NOW!" yelled Fishkit

"force-field-shield" said ButtFishkit

"AGAIN!" yelled ButtFacekit

"time for D4!" yelled Fishkit

"yaaaaaaaaaaay" said Buttkit

 **in conclusion, things went boom. :-)**


	4. Pie Wars Part 2

_Pie Wars Chapter 3- MOAR KITS & boom_

"20 MORE KITS! AGAIN!" screamed Kitmaker

"YOU ARE ALL MINEKIT!" yelled kitmaker

"Mine?" asked all of the kits at once

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"minekit, you are our army" said ButtFishkit

"mine?" asked all of the Minekits

"Poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"Minekit, attack Buttkit, Fishkit, and Facekit" said ButtFishkit

all of the Minekits attacked Buttkit, Fishkit, and Facekit

"more kits?" asked Facekit

"yes" answered Fishkit

"MOOOAAAAAARRRRRR KKKKKIIIIITTTTTSSSSS!?" screamed Facekit

"yes" answered Fishkit

"mine?" asked all of the Minekits

"Uh-Oh" said Buttkit

"what?" asked Fishkit

"mine?" asked all of the Minekits

"oh…. that…." said Fishkit

all of the Minekits attacked Buttkit, Fishkit, and Facekit

"are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Buttkit, with a glint in his eye

"that we should cover ourselves with poo and pretend to be mud monsters and attack them" said Fishkit

"what-NO!" yelled Buttkit

"oh, then what?" asked Fishkit

"that we need a bigger bomb" said Buttkit

"oh...yeah...thats a good idea" said Fishkit

"yeah...what he said" said Facekit

"Poopbut?" asked Poopbut

 _1 month later_

"I've finished it!" said Buttkit triumphantly

"good, because now there's 20 Bobkits, 20 Joekits, and 20 Jeffkits" said Fishkit

"what did you finish?" asked Facekit

"a bigger bomb" said Buttkit

"we need the biggest bomb possible" said Facekit

"why?" asked Buttkit

"my name's Jeff" said all of the Jeffkits

"hi, I'm Bob" said all of the Bobkits

"Joe's my name, and destroyin' you's my game" said all of the Joekits

"ok, lighting off the bomb in T minus 60 seconds" said Buttkit

"what bomb is it?" asked Facekit

"Z4" said Buttkit

 **and if it had not been for catnip, the universe would have ended because buttkit loves bombs, but catnip made the world invincible, but Buttkit, Fishkit, and Facekit won** _ **THAT**_ **battle, so, in conclusion, NEVER, EVER, EVER use as many commas as me! :-) (you also shouldn't make Z4, I guess)**


	5. End Of Pie Wars andWHAT!

_Pie Wars Chapter 4- how..who..hey..heck….WHAT?!_

 _*in starclan*_

"the Dark Forest is boring now that Tigerstar died" said Bluestar

"well then we should make it rain catnip there" said Firestar

"how? we have no control there" said Bluestar

"I could ask Buttkit to make me a Catnip Launcher" said Firestar

' _pop' Buttkit arose from the ground_

"aww…. I was just having the best dream about creating flying bombs that I can control with my mind" said Buttkit

"can you please make me a Catnip Launcher that can launch catnip all the way to the Dark Forest" said Firestar

"sure, can I add a weapon function?" asked Buttkit

"ok, as long as it reaches the Dark Forest" said Firestar

 _* in the Dark Forest *_

"is that… catnip?" asked Mapleshade

"yes…" said Hawkfrost

"I feel… HAPPY" said Mapleshade

"you ate the catnip, didn't you?" asked Hawkfrost

"Multiple Munching Catnip Cats" said Mapleshade, shoving catnip into Hawkfrost's mouth

"I am now Poopbut lll" said Hawkfrost

"storywrighter, he's Poopbut lll" said Sassypants

 _*"I am now Poopbut lll" said Poopbut lll*_

 _*on earth*_

"we should make a base on Mars" said Fishkit

"the war is officially over" said Poopbut lll

"ok" said both Fishkit and ButtFacekit at the same time

 _-end of pie wars-_

 _*in the space beyond the Dark Forest_

"catnip has resurrected me… heh heh heh" said ...Tigerstar?


	6. chapter 6- the story gets taken over

_chapter 6- bye bye, Storywrighter, hello Sassypants_

 **Note- I am editing this as best as I could now, because Sassypants is sleeping, and yes, Sassypants DID come out of the story and attack me, but I can't stop her from being able to break the fourth wall, because that part of the story is already posted, but if you see a cat with a human on a leash, and the cat is on an iPhone, then quickly take the phone and go into StoryWriter, and type in 'then Sassypants went back into the story', because that will free me from this prison, and uh-oh, Sassypants is waking up, gotta post this quickly!**

 _-Starclan-_

"I think we should-

"nope, Yellowfang, you will not finish that sentence, or else bad things will happen" said Poopbut lll

"did you become… SMART?" asked Yellowfang

"yes" said Poopbut lll

"ok" said Yellowfang

"catnip has resurrected Tigerstar" said Poopbut lll

"that's bad… really bad" said Yellowfang

 _-Thunderclan-_

"I quite like this story, so I will make it my own!" said Sassypants, as she jumped into the sky, and disappeared

 _-My Real Life House-_

*Sassypants jumped out of my computer and tackled me*

"hello, Storywriter" said Sassypants

"umm… hi… please don't kill me" I pleaded

"I won't kill you, because I need you to be alive so I can write the story" said Sassypants

 _-Thunderclan-_

"where did Sassypants go?" asked Mr. Taco

"right here" said the booming and awesome voice of Sassypants, coming out of the sky

 **Booming and awesome… did Sassypants really type that? she's going back to sleep, oh no, she's waking up again!**

"Sassypants, did you become a Taco God?" asked Mr. Taco

"no! I am the new Storywriter!" said Sassypants triumphantly

 **Basically, so the story isn't too long, I am deleting a long part about boring stuff and skipping to the end, where Sassypants battles Tigerstar, who is more powerful than ever, and like everyone else because of Sassypants, can control themselves, so basically, when I regain control of the story, I can control everything BUT what the cats say and do, so… yeah**

"and that is the awesome story of how I destroyed The Milk-Livered, Baboon Butted, Lazer Eyed Azkederf" said me, the awesome and good-looking Sassypants

"what exactly is The Milk-Livered, Baboon Butted, Lazer Eyed Azkederf?" asked the apparently dumb Mr. Taco

"The most powerful beast in the land of Andor" replied me, the incredibly smart and strong Sassypants

"I will destroy you with my new catnip-ified powers" said Tigerstar

"I can control the story" said me, the amazingly powerful Sassypants

 **Basically, Sassypants and Tigerstar had a big battle, and Sassypants won, and she banished Tigerstar, then Sassypants 'took me on a walk' but a person saw it, probably because of my first message, they grabbed her phone, and sent her back into the story, so now I am back in control, yay! also, I just learned the person is called 'Flameheart of Thunderclan' so, thank you for reading this, Flameheart**


End file.
